Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
