she woke up with a sticky ear
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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