My sheets look like a crime scene.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
