Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
