Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
