Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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