My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
