**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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