Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
