So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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