i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
