Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
