marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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