This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize