Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
