I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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