are you still at the devil's house?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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