Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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