we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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