I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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