Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't turn off my feet"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
