I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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