but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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