Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
