so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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