I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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