So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
