it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
