Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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