I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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