Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
