She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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