ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
