This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
