I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
