Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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