I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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