Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
