I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
