1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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