video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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