I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
