I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
