OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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