After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
