i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
