i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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