I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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