I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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