His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
