We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you win again, gameday.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
