My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
only if we run a train.
done.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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