you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
