Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
