So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
