Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
