in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
