is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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