I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
