Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize