Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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