I'm going to jail i love you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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