I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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