You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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